It's been awhile since I'm joining English lessons online. And it's been so long that I didn't bother to write something in my blog. It's depressing to realise that I wasted so much of my time instead of studying English. I could feel the negative effect of it, as I remember I can write faster before. I mean my mind is working quickly that I don't need to stop for a while to think what to write next. Before I wrote continuously and quickly but now I could feel the slow-typing. My mind is not that active, I don't know but that's how I feel about it.
I used to write so many blogs before and that helps me a lot to excercise my mind. To think quickly and write continuously. I mean my mind worked pretty well before, maybe I just need to do this stuff again. Writing blogs all the time to excercise my mind and waking up my dead genes :) I mean I need to work this out again. Aging can make your mind work slowly, I'm near to reach 30s and I could feel that my mind is not that so active like before. So I really need to make it work before anything goes hard to bring back.
I used to learn new slangs before but now I kind of lose my apetite on that site. My learning was declined and so does my English vocabulary. I need to keep this up, keep studying hard again.
12/18/10
Misa de gallo
It's December and Misa de gallo plays big part as we celebrate Christmas. It's a 9 mornings' mas before christmas eve or the born of Jesus Christ. Some people say, you need to complete the 9 mornings so that your wish will come true. I used to believe in this saying before and been attending misa de gallo for many times but I didn't get a chance to complete the 9 mornings. Not until last year, that was my first to make it perfect and it was a nice experienced. Waking up early in the morning for 9 consecutive days is kind of tired but it's really a nice feeling when you are sucrificing for God. To show him that he is remembered.
The true spirit of Christmas is not by receiving gifts but to visit him in the church and praise him for what his done to us. Celebrating his birthday is the main reason why we have this so called christmas. It's his day, the day when he came out from the womb of Virgin Mary and later on saved us from the sins. We musn't forget that, we owe him. He saved us because he loves us more than his own life.
Some people ask me, are you attending misa de gallo??? and I was like yes. They ask me, what is your wish??? and I answer them, I have so many wish but I don't really need to wish at all. I mean, I don't want to go to church for 9 consecutive mornings because I have a wish to ask. That is so unfair, you only go to church because of your wish??? because you want God to return your sacrifice by answering your wish?? I mean come'on! This life is too much to ask for more. I mean saving our lives and giving us an opportunity to live, use and enjoy his other creations is too much.
Why don't we go to church, listen to his words and be inspired instead of going there just for the sake of your wish??!
Today is December 18th and I was attending 3 mornings' mas. I still have 6 mornings till the day when Jesus Christ was born. May our Christmas be filled with love and happiness. Merry Christmas to everyone.
The true spirit of Christmas is not by receiving gifts but to visit him in the church and praise him for what his done to us. Celebrating his birthday is the main reason why we have this so called christmas. It's his day, the day when he came out from the womb of Virgin Mary and later on saved us from the sins. We musn't forget that, we owe him. He saved us because he loves us more than his own life.
Some people ask me, are you attending misa de gallo??? and I was like yes. They ask me, what is your wish??? and I answer them, I have so many wish but I don't really need to wish at all. I mean, I don't want to go to church for 9 consecutive mornings because I have a wish to ask. That is so unfair, you only go to church because of your wish??? because you want God to return your sacrifice by answering your wish?? I mean come'on! This life is too much to ask for more. I mean saving our lives and giving us an opportunity to live, use and enjoy his other creations is too much.
Why don't we go to church, listen to his words and be inspired instead of going there just for the sake of your wish??!
Today is December 18th and I was attending 3 mornings' mas. I still have 6 mornings till the day when Jesus Christ was born. May our Christmas be filled with love and happiness. Merry Christmas to everyone.
I am so dependent - I hate it
It's been a while since I last visited my blog. I was kinda busy since it's December, lots of stuff to do and family visits. I spend most of my time visiting my families from other places, I'm the only one who can drive so I have no choice to be left at home. My family really needs my service so why not??
I know my life is just easy for anybody else, but for me it's kind of tough. I can't find a job because I need to stay at home all the time.I mean people can't live without me, in case of emergency no one could be there to drive for them. To take money from the bank or any other responsibilities that needs my present.
I used to complain about this, but I know I have no reason to do so. My family needs my help, how could I reject it?! I'm so glad my sisters understand my situation. But until when I could keep myself believe that everything is okay? I mean, I need myself to be improved too. I'm too old to be dependent with my sisters help.
Being free is good, but I feel so limited to reach my goals. I really needed to get out of this situation and start reaching my goal all by myself. Fight against the fears and learn how to accept things.
I know my life is just easy for anybody else, but for me it's kind of tough. I can't find a job because I need to stay at home all the time.I mean people can't live without me, in case of emergency no one could be there to drive for them. To take money from the bank or any other responsibilities that needs my present.
I used to complain about this, but I know I have no reason to do so. My family needs my help, how could I reject it?! I'm so glad my sisters understand my situation. But until when I could keep myself believe that everything is okay? I mean, I need myself to be improved too. I'm too old to be dependent with my sisters help.
Being free is good, but I feel so limited to reach my goals. I really needed to get out of this situation and start reaching my goal all by myself. Fight against the fears and learn how to accept things.
11/17/10
2010 is not a good year for me
This year is been so tough for me. Everything that's happening is extremely bad. How I wish that next year would be extremely great for me. Please Lord, be with me all the time. Keep me a better person, give me wisdom, make me strong, give me strength, inspire me and give me courage to face all the challenge that comes into my life.
Lord please show me the light, enlighten my mind and make me a good person and responsible not just for myself but also for everyone around me. Help me reach my dream and keep me positive. Please Lord help me face my life confindently and with love.
I really need you at this point of my life, please Lord don't leave me. You are the only one who left to survive me, the one who will inspire me and make me go back to the person I used to be before. I want to be strong and responsible and full of dreams.
Lord please show me the light, enlighten my mind and make me a good person and responsible not just for myself but also for everyone around me. Help me reach my dream and keep me positive. Please Lord help me face my life confindently and with love.
I really need you at this point of my life, please Lord don't leave me. You are the only one who left to survive me, the one who will inspire me and make me go back to the person I used to be before. I want to be strong and responsible and full of dreams.
my 25 years in this world
It's been 25 years ago since I was born in this world. In my 25 years, I've learned so many things. I also learned how unfair life is, how tough living in this world. Life is very confusing, challenges comes one after another or sometimes it comes together. Life sucks and make you cry, sometimes you are weak and so down that you don't have any idea what to do. You start with the question: why is this happening to me? what am I gonna do? where am I gonna start? and how could I face this? to mention a few.
Life is exciting and fun as others say and I honestly believe this. It is easy to say it though, but the easier it is to say the harder it is to do. Life will be exciting and fun if you know how to handle your life. I didn't believe that all the people live that way though, for each of us feels the same way. Each of us has each own challenge in life and has each own word to call it.
Many times I fell on the ground as I walked to continue my life's journey in this world. So many times I gave up, school, work, family and friends. I even came to the point that I didn't know who I am, what is my purpose and what is my dream. It's been so hard for me to live in this world, I blame God, my family and those people around me. But I know deep inside me that there's no one to blame but myself. I almost gave up when I realized that my life was already ruined, I want to bring back the past to correct my mistakes but unfortunately past is past...I can't bring it back no matter what I do. All that left is to accept the past and face the future.
I don't want to do what I've did before, but I am such a coward to fix my life anymore. Call me anything that you want to call, I won't get mad coz I know it's really true. I am nothing but a damn a loser.
One day I asked God, why did you gave me a chance to live in this world where I don't deserved?
Well anyway, this blog shows how am I to deal with my life. And sad to say, my life is not as exciting and fun as yours. I struggling so much and I really find life so tough.
Life is exciting and fun as others say and I honestly believe this. It is easy to say it though, but the easier it is to say the harder it is to do. Life will be exciting and fun if you know how to handle your life. I didn't believe that all the people live that way though, for each of us feels the same way. Each of us has each own challenge in life and has each own word to call it.
Many times I fell on the ground as I walked to continue my life's journey in this world. So many times I gave up, school, work, family and friends. I even came to the point that I didn't know who I am, what is my purpose and what is my dream. It's been so hard for me to live in this world, I blame God, my family and those people around me. But I know deep inside me that there's no one to blame but myself. I almost gave up when I realized that my life was already ruined, I want to bring back the past to correct my mistakes but unfortunately past is past...I can't bring it back no matter what I do. All that left is to accept the past and face the future.
I don't want to do what I've did before, but I am such a coward to fix my life anymore. Call me anything that you want to call, I won't get mad coz I know it's really true. I am nothing but a damn a loser.
One day I asked God, why did you gave me a chance to live in this world where I don't deserved?
Well anyway, this blog shows how am I to deal with my life. And sad to say, my life is not as exciting and fun as yours. I struggling so much and I really find life so tough.
10/7/10
WE’RE ALWAYS TOGETHER IN OUR HEARTS
WE’RE ALWAYS TOGETHER IN OUR HEARTS
By: Arlene
You’re in love with me
but you’re scared that I won’t like you.
I’m in love with you
Believing you won’t ever feel the same way.
Until the day a friend told me,
how you talked so much about me
It makes me wanna cry, knowing you felt the same way.
From that day, I can’t stop thinking ‘bout you.
Why I feel this way now, now that you’re gone
Gone somewhere I couldn’t see
Maybe you’re not coming back anymore
Oh baby, tell me how I could live this way NOW.
You make me smile every time I think about you,
Everything you did before just to impress me
But baby, I’m so blind that I didn’t even see.
You're the only one who can make me happy
Now tell me how could I be happy,
when I know you're not gonna be mine anymore.
We’ve never been together since before
Or maybe still won’t be in the future
But baby, I know we’re always together in our hearts.
I will never ever forget about you
We may not see each other again
But one thing I want you to know
You’ll always be a part of my life
And no one could ever take you out of my heart.
*First Flame Never Dies*
By: Arlene
You’re in love with me
but you’re scared that I won’t like you.
I’m in love with you
Believing you won’t ever feel the same way.
Until the day a friend told me,
how you talked so much about me
It makes me wanna cry, knowing you felt the same way.
From that day, I can’t stop thinking ‘bout you.
Why I feel this way now, now that you’re gone
Gone somewhere I couldn’t see
Maybe you’re not coming back anymore
Oh baby, tell me how I could live this way NOW.
You make me smile every time I think about you,
Everything you did before just to impress me
But baby, I’m so blind that I didn’t even see.
You're the only one who can make me happy
Now tell me how could I be happy,
when I know you're not gonna be mine anymore.
We’ve never been together since before
Or maybe still won’t be in the future
But baby, I know we’re always together in our hearts.
I will never ever forget about you
We may not see each other again
But one thing I want you to know
You’ll always be a part of my life
And no one could ever take you out of my heart.
*First Flame Never Dies*
10/5/10
A sad story
A Sad Story by Arlene
Edward and Bella were classmates since first year to third year high school. Edward used to impress Bella, anything that could make her near to him. Even teasing her with other guys, he did it. Bella was very innocent about his feeling she thought it was just natural and normal for a classmates to do it, since most of her classmates tease her too. She's like used to that kind of stuff.
That was 2 decades ago, there was no xerox copier at their school at that time, so the students were forced to copy everything from the blackboard through their hands. The teacher will copy it on blackboard and so do students to their notebooks. They copy four to five pages most of the time.
Since the teacher was not checking the notebooks whether the students were really copying or not. Edward always took Bella's notebook and copied the notes on the blackboard for her. Four to five pages or so can be hurt to your hand, so maybe he wants to help her. He used to borrow her notebook after school and copy it again to his notebook so that later on, on the next day he has a notes when the teacher discuss what they've copied.
Edward is very gentleman, decent, brilliant, handsome, quiet type of guy and smart. While Bella is plain, not pretty not ugly either just okay. She's decent too, brilliant, quiet and serious to her study. They have so much similarities.
Everyday they were the same, no courting or whatever just to let Bella knows what he feel. Bella has really no idea that she is hurting his feeling, but he can't blame her because he is coward to tell her the truth.
Well, she is his first love that's why he really has no idea what to do. He is very shy and coward to court her, he prefers to keep it to himself until Bella decides to transfer to other school and left him heart broken. Bella still have no idea about what he felt for her.
Since then they have no more communication.
While they were away from each other, Bella started to think about him. And started to appreciate what he did to her. Copying everything on the blackboard for her, but when their other classmates asked him to copy for them he didn't took it. He treated her so special. That's when she realized that Edward has a special feeling for her but of course she's not sure about it. Maybe it was just her who think that way.
She really wants to see him, have his number but she has no one ask about him. He's always in her mind, he makes her smile when she remember their past. Until she think she's falling with him too, but it's too late.
After a decade, one of their classmates text Bella. Just saying hi and hello and they talked about their lives till they reached the topic about love life. Jessica - their classmate's name, told her about herself and Edward. She told her that they've been together before but they're already broke up.
Bella's heart was racing so fast, she asked Jessica where he is, why they broke up and where is he working.
Jessica gave her a news about him. Edward is a Marine now, she said he is handsome and very tall. Bella was so happy to hear it, but then Jessica told her they broke up because he already has a wife and the girl is already having their baby. They don't have formal break up, since they were away from each other because of his work. They were just broke up through cellphone.
Bella was like too weak when she heard about it, she has no more reason to think about him or to wait for him. He is already has a family and being with him is not gonna happen anymore.
On their last conversation Jessica told her "you know what? he used to talk about you all the time" that's when she realized how Edward loved her before or maybe till now but he is also have no news about her. Remembering her the way she does about him is an answer to her question and a confirmation they are both in love with each other.
She was so happy to hear about it, at the same time she was heart broken that her wish to be with him won't ever happen anymore.
She thinks that when they only have a communication maybe Edward is still single or maybe they are together. How she wish Edward has a news about her, for that maybe he didn't decide to get married for other girl.
Until now Edward and Bella still have no communication. Bella starts to accept it and be thankful for that memories she have of him. Such a great memories that will treasure as long as she lives. He's part of her life and she knows she's been part of his life too.
They are physically away from each other but in their minds and in their hearts they are always together and in love to each other no matter what will happen. She is his first love and he is her first love too. First love never dies right??? the love between them will always be in their heart and no one could ever take that away from them.
What a sad story isn't it? Honestly, this makes me wanna cry. Wish the part two is coming soon LOL. Wish the characters will meet on the next part.
Lesson???? always learn to appreciate every single and big thing that others have done unto you.
Edward and Bella were classmates since first year to third year high school. Edward used to impress Bella, anything that could make her near to him. Even teasing her with other guys, he did it. Bella was very innocent about his feeling she thought it was just natural and normal for a classmates to do it, since most of her classmates tease her too. She's like used to that kind of stuff.
That was 2 decades ago, there was no xerox copier at their school at that time, so the students were forced to copy everything from the blackboard through their hands. The teacher will copy it on blackboard and so do students to their notebooks. They copy four to five pages most of the time.
Since the teacher was not checking the notebooks whether the students were really copying or not. Edward always took Bella's notebook and copied the notes on the blackboard for her. Four to five pages or so can be hurt to your hand, so maybe he wants to help her. He used to borrow her notebook after school and copy it again to his notebook so that later on, on the next day he has a notes when the teacher discuss what they've copied.
Edward is very gentleman, decent, brilliant, handsome, quiet type of guy and smart. While Bella is plain, not pretty not ugly either just okay. She's decent too, brilliant, quiet and serious to her study. They have so much similarities.
Everyday they were the same, no courting or whatever just to let Bella knows what he feel. Bella has really no idea that she is hurting his feeling, but he can't blame her because he is coward to tell her the truth.
Well, she is his first love that's why he really has no idea what to do. He is very shy and coward to court her, he prefers to keep it to himself until Bella decides to transfer to other school and left him heart broken. Bella still have no idea about what he felt for her.
Since then they have no more communication.
While they were away from each other, Bella started to think about him. And started to appreciate what he did to her. Copying everything on the blackboard for her, but when their other classmates asked him to copy for them he didn't took it. He treated her so special. That's when she realized that Edward has a special feeling for her but of course she's not sure about it. Maybe it was just her who think that way.
She really wants to see him, have his number but she has no one ask about him. He's always in her mind, he makes her smile when she remember their past. Until she think she's falling with him too, but it's too late.
After a decade, one of their classmates text Bella. Just saying hi and hello and they talked about their lives till they reached the topic about love life. Jessica - their classmate's name, told her about herself and Edward. She told her that they've been together before but they're already broke up.
Bella's heart was racing so fast, she asked Jessica where he is, why they broke up and where is he working.
Jessica gave her a news about him. Edward is a Marine now, she said he is handsome and very tall. Bella was so happy to hear it, but then Jessica told her they broke up because he already has a wife and the girl is already having their baby. They don't have formal break up, since they were away from each other because of his work. They were just broke up through cellphone.
Bella was like too weak when she heard about it, she has no more reason to think about him or to wait for him. He is already has a family and being with him is not gonna happen anymore.
On their last conversation Jessica told her "you know what? he used to talk about you all the time" that's when she realized how Edward loved her before or maybe till now but he is also have no news about her. Remembering her the way she does about him is an answer to her question and a confirmation they are both in love with each other.
She was so happy to hear about it, at the same time she was heart broken that her wish to be with him won't ever happen anymore.
She thinks that when they only have a communication maybe Edward is still single or maybe they are together. How she wish Edward has a news about her, for that maybe he didn't decide to get married for other girl.
Until now Edward and Bella still have no communication. Bella starts to accept it and be thankful for that memories she have of him. Such a great memories that will treasure as long as she lives. He's part of her life and she knows she's been part of his life too.
They are physically away from each other but in their minds and in their hearts they are always together and in love to each other no matter what will happen. She is his first love and he is her first love too. First love never dies right??? the love between them will always be in their heart and no one could ever take that away from them.
What a sad story isn't it? Honestly, this makes me wanna cry. Wish the part two is coming soon LOL. Wish the characters will meet on the next part.
Lesson???? always learn to appreciate every single and big thing that others have done unto you.
9/21/10
I want to save my life
I really wanna take it back but I can't. What am I gonna do now???? I want to be positive, I still have time I know that. Better late than never right? I hope next year I can go to Australia. Please pray for me. Help me save my Life.
I really hope everything is gonna be fine soon. I don't have to be felt so lost, I will put my trust to God.
I really hope everything is gonna be fine soon. I don't have to be felt so lost, I will put my trust to God.
