FLAR

“Do you remember our high school life?! We used to do crazy things, like taking picture, teasing each other, cheating and so many more.”

“Our section is very noisy even the class is going on and then our teacher is always mad. That’s when she decided to arrange the seat into two. It should be girl and boy so they can’t talk to each other.”

“You know what?! It makes me happy, our last name are both start at the same letter so I really thought we’ll be seatmate. But then we’re not. I’m still lucky though ‘cause your seatmate is always absent so I always fill in the empty space next to you.”

“I remember talking to you but you’re avoiding me like as if you didn’t hear me. It’s either you didn’t want to talk to me or you hated me.”

“Do you even notice when it’s your time to report I’m always sitting in the front seat? Do you remember that our teacher in science asked me why are you sitting there, it’s not your seat and then someone told her because you’re the one who’s reporting, that’s why. I’m blushing that moment but you don’t have any reaction.”

“During the lunch time you’re always with your closest friend, you guys lunch together at the restaurant near the school. That’s what you used to do every lunch time. I thought what if I asked your friends to have lunch in our house and so you’ll come too or else you’ll be eating alone. But against my expectation, of the entire group you’re the only one who doesn’t want to come. You know of all, you are the most especial and that plan is for you but what you did is you went home and have lunch in your house instead. You have no idea how frustrated I am that time.”

“Every day we are practicing our CAT and we can’t choose our riffle to use. Do you remember that the riffle you got is too massive and you guys already in a formation but I went there to exchange mine to yours so won’t get tired. They teased us, remember that?! But like always, you have no reaction.”

“I remember we have no class that whole afternoon but we still have a CAT at 5 o’clock so some of us decided to stay inside the school instead and just wait till our CAT. I remember you went home right after our morning class and you said you’ll go back at 4:45. We’ve been there for almost three hours and you still didn’t come and so I ask a favor to one of our classmate to call you and tell you that the CAT will start in a few minute so you’ll come already. And yes you did.”

“And there’s a moment where I was informed by my best friend who is a CAT officer that we’ll have a meeting. I called you right away but then you’re not in the house and so you missed it. And I miss you.”

“Some of our classmates are exchanging photos as a remembrance for each other because we only have few months before we graduate. And then they saw my photo and ask me to give it to them but I didn’t give instead I gave it to you. They teased us again ‘cause of so many of them asking it I gave it to you when you’re not even asking it. That moment you make me happy without your knowing ‘cause you accepted my photo.”

“Do you remember when we are seating outside the classroom while waiting for our English teacher? And then one of our class mate told you, “you know what?! There’s someone in here that has a crush on you” and then my whole face went red because I didn’t expect her to say that. Well, most of our classmates already know that I have a feeling for you before I even told them. I think you’re the only one who doesn’t know that.”

“I think I’ve already did everything to make you notice me but none of it works. You’re still away from me; it seems to me that it doesn’t change anything about your feeling for me. I am so busted.”

“That triggered me to tell you the truth instead, You’re sitting in the covered court this time with your best friend and then I seat next to your best friend and told her you know what I have a crush on the girl next to you. And then I called my best friend and told him I got a crush on her. You heard all of it, but then I saw your face seemed very serious more likely anger.”

“It breaks my heart you know. That moment I decided to quit.”

“I tried to avoid you against my will. You’re not talking to me as well, you’re not even smiling. I felt someone is punching my heart. I can’t understand that in spite of everything I did, all the efforts you still hated me.”

“From then on we’re not talking to each other until graduation.”

“What a saddest ending for me.”

 

 

IELTS preparation

It’s been so long since I last update my blog. I should have never stop writing since I last took my IELTS exam. It’s too lazy of me for not even reading blogs or something to practice or improve my English. I’ve been studying English since I started schooling, it’s been how many years but until now I am still struggling to make it right, at least right even not perfect. Therefore I conclude that English wasn’t easy because if it is then I might be great right now.

I still believe that reading everyday and writing anything that goes to your mind is a perfect way of exercising your brain and improving your vocabulary. I know this very well but… I’m just too lazy doing it. Instead of writing I spend most of my time on social media. Although reading English tweets will help but I know reading blogs is so much better.

Again I made a wrong mistake here, extreme mistake I should say. I’ll be taking IELTS exam in less three months and I am supposed to be better, so much better than the last exam. But it turns out that I am much better before than today. I hate it, but it’s the fact.

I hate myself for all these, but I know it’s not the best thing to do it right now. I only have a very short time to review before the exam, this time I know I should make it higher but I don’t have that confidence the way I have during my previous IELTS.

Oh Lord here I am, please help me survive. This time my IELTS is very important, this is final and whatever the result is, it’s going to affect my future. Please give me courage and inspire me everyday to be responsible of my review.

I want to save money by not going to a review school . I don’t think self review is the best thing here; I also have a responsibility with my mother so going review school is kind of complicated.

Oh Lord, please be my guide.

This going to be my first writing, this is actually serves as a warm up for my IELTS. I should really take this seriously and my efforts play big to get a higher score.

October 8 is the date and I should be prepared than ever. I’m not gonna change the date so my sister will have a time to process my visa.

GOOd Luck to me!

My very first adventure alone!

 

March 5, 2014 it was my first ever travel outside the country alone. Can’t explain my feelings, I am sad knowing that I have a family left behind. Even I knew I will only be away for three months, still couldn’t deny the sadness that I feel. Can’t even say goodbye to them formally because I know I’m going to cry.

On the other hand, there is an excitement in me. This has been my dream before, going to other country, riding the plane, and visiting my family abroad.

I’m very thankful that I didn’t feel any fear or nervous of traveling alone.

It was 10 in the morning when I left Bacolod and touchdown to Manila around 11 in the morning. It was also my very first time to be in Manila, what a shame!

It was 4 in the afternoon when I flew from Manila and arrived at Singapore around 9 in the evening.  Again, it was my very first time to be in Singapore. At least!

I stopped at Changi airport – Singapore for twelve hours and depart around 8 in the morning to my final destination – Perth City, Australia at exactly 1 in the afternoon.

I Can’t explain my feelings, I can’t believe I’m already setting my foot on Australia’s soil for the first time ever! I can’t explain the happiness that I felt. I can’t believe I can do it flawlessly without the feeling of nervousness or something.

And then I saw my two sisters at the waiting area waiting for me. Such a perfect moment, wish I could stop the clock and maintain the status quo. Best feeling ever!

This is my very first adventure alone! So amazing!

Finally, I'm going away for good! Thank God!

            Finally my question has been answered. I’m going to Australia next year to start my life. I’m going to take my course which is hospitality management in Australia on July 2016.

            All my life I’ve been waiting for this to happen. It takes a decade before I know I’m really going there. Lots of disappointment and frustrations, I’m on the edge of my patience and almost giving up, I can’t avoid it. But here I am, I think this is it! My life will change the moment I step up on the plane.

            It’s not going to be easy, leaving everyone that I love and living in the place which is totally strange for me. I have faith in God that’s the only thing I have, and either I like it or not I have to believe in myself. I have to live and face my life alone.

            I know God is there for me as I do this. Lord, please help me overcome all the challenges that come in my life. Help me succeed so I could help my sisters and parents.

            Lord, please help me survived mentally and whatever happen to me in Australia please give me strength not to give up.

            I hope the good Lord help me get through all these. Amen.

           

             

Unfinished story, still wanna post

                It was Tuesday afternoon. I was lying down on my bed waiting to fall asleep, suddenly my mobile phone beeped. I grabbed the phone hurriedly and read the message.

                “Hey there, how you doing?” it was Maddy, my childhood friend.

                “Hey, I’m well. You?” I replied quickly.

                “Ummm not really ok, because of you. I mean, are you sure you’re not coming with us this weekend? I can’t get over about you-saying-no yesterday” I could feel the sadness in her text.

                “I’m really sorry about it bessy. I thought we’re already done with it. Yesterday, you know you said okay.”

                “yeah, but I’ve changed my mind. I really want you to come. Please bessy.” She pleaded.

                Our groups of friends were planning to have a reunion in the island of Bohol. It takes us two rides by plane to get there. Or via bus and then OceanJet.

            I am perfectly sure Mum won’t let me go that far away. It’s just a reunion; you can do it here, why you really need to go somewhere far away?! I can’t see the point, besides whatever happens to you out there is not worth it! Either your sisters won’t let you come. These is going to be the line I’m gonna hear if I mention this to mum. I don’t want hear it, so what is the purpose of me telling this to her?!

After 5 years since we graduated in high school our classmates wants to reunite. Annie one of my best friends told me about this plan a month ago, as they are the officials during their senior years. We never graduated in the same school because I transferred to other school, but we are classmates since first year to third year.

                “I can’t promise, but let me see what I can do. Okay?” That’s all I can say for now, I thought. I hit the send button and started thinking what should I do to make my sister and mum allows me to go for one long trip.

                “Okay, Please please find a way. I really want you to be with us bess. It’s really exciting and fun and we all are excited.” She replied.

            “Let’s just hope my mum would let me bess, trust me I’d really love to come.” I just said to comfort her.

                I put down my phone after our conversation, then my thoughts running randomly to my strict mum and over protective sisters.

                I felt so hot and my whole body seemed like sweating. I opened my eyes and the light of the sun blinded me. I was flattered, I thought it was night but it was so light. Against the will of my lazy body I stood up and reached the ON button of the air condition. I threw back my whole body back to bed, and then the room started to get cool. That’s when I realized I was on myself now.

                I took my phone to check the message but I got zero messages. I rechecked my inbox instead and there I read Maddy’s text messages again.

As much as I don’t want to hear my mum’s sermon, I still manage to tell her.

It took me a lot of explanations and promises. And in the end out of my expectations she let me. It is such a big relief in my part to make my mum allow me.

I can’t explain the excitement that I felt. And I can’t wait to tell it to everybody that I’m coming. I’m pretty sure it would make them happy of my presence.

“Hey Maddy, guess what! Mum let me come with you guys this weekend.” I wrote with excitement.

“Really? That’s great! You really make my happy!” She replied in just a minute.

“Yeah I know, I did talk to her and convinced her so freaking bad and luckily she was convinced. Thank God!” I exclaimed happily.

“You are very lucky! Oh wait, did we talk earlier?” She replied greatly with a little awkwardness on the last part.

“hello??? Didn’t you just pleading over me, begging even to do something to make my ass come with you guys?” I said shaking my head in confusion. What is going on with you bessy. I thought.

It took a while before she could reply. I’ve even done brushing my teeth and applying some moisturizer on my face.

“Oh yeah! God I’m sorry I’m just...I don’t know... maybe I’m just out of myself in a moment hahaha. Crazy me! Anyways, start packing your stuff ‘cause it’s going to be a long and exciting trip. Make sure you bring important things with you.” A long message appeared on my screen. Wow! It is not obvious that Maddy is way too excited for the trip. I just thought.

“haha, you’re acting weird bessy. I think it has something to do with over excitement. I understand that! *winks*” I just said.

“Sure thing! I still have the whole day tomorrow for the packing. Thanks again.” I continued.

 

 

Saturday morning, I was in my room checking up all my stuff when I heard a horn outside. I went to peek through my window “They’re here” I told to myself.

“Ariane! I think it’s your friend outside.” I heard mum calling while I was on my way downstairs.

“Coming” I replied almost a yelled while half running to the door.

At the front door, I saw mum at the gate already– opening it for them. Then one by one all the familiar faces started to jump off the back of the black 4x4 pick-up.

“Hi Tita!...Hello Tita... I missed you Tita...” It’s almost a chorus that I can’t identify who are saying it, plus a kiss and a hug to my mum.

Seeing them make me felt sad and happy. It’s a mixed emotion. After so many years, I’ve never thought we could still do the same stuff we used to do before, back in high school.

It’s not obvious to hear those words from them to my mum, because they used to go here in our house when we’re still in high school. Especially, when we have a project or group study. Even during my birthdays.

Mum is really good to them ever since, she always welcomed them in our house that’s why my classmates really like her too. Maybe that’s one of the reason why she let me in this adventure. It’s just that mum ain’t really a big fan of me going with the friends all the time. She rather let them come to my place than me coming over their places. She’s a biased parent but I totally love her and very thankful she’s my mum.

“Hey guys!” I said surprisingly. And they seemed all pleased to see me.

I hugged each of them, and then I saw everyone in the car started to get out and headed to us as soon as they saw me.

“Oh my God! I’ve missed you all so much guys!” I said to them tearfully.

I am still hugging Annie while I was fronting the pick-up and noticed that there’s still someone’s left in the car. The driver’s door opened and wallah! Someone so familiar face is heading towards us. I looked down as soon as I know he didn’t see me looking at him. I act as if I never saw him.

“Hi!” Said the familiar voice.

Again I act like as if I was startled. I looked up and meet his eyes. We’re staring at each other for a moment then we both smile. I felt bizarre and I don’t know what to do. I’m no good at this thingy.

He came closer to me and gave me a hug, I hugged him back like an idiot but I know it was just a friendly hug just like I do and he does to our friends. From that very moment, I felt the butterflies in my stomach. I don’t know exactly what I feel.

            His name is Jay, my high school crush. He is so tall now and masculine and more handsome than before.

           

            At the plane, Annie and I seated next to each other. I started to count us all in my mind.

            Me, Annie, Maddy, Marrie, Ruby, Dannielle, Cherry, Sarah, Girlan , Juliet, Jay, Fredd, Gary, Marc, John, Seth, Jun, Micheal and josh. We’re all nineteen.

            I can’t keep the excitement, besides this also my first time to be in the place. They booked the whole property; with private swimming it is located at the top of the hill where you can see the chocolate hills.

            The house is so big, and looks luxury. The Living area is my favorite one, it’s very open, and the windows are glass from top to the bottom where you can see the swimming pool. I’m really in love with the place. In fact I was imagining, I would love to have a house like that.

            There are eight rooms and four bathrooms. The three rooms are occupied by the boys while the five others are for girls. The boys are gentlemen enough to give up the one room as we are more than them.

            It was already five in the afternoon when we all finished arranging our stuff.

            “Okay guys, it’s already five what are we going to have for dinner?!” Gary asks from the kitchen.

            “The market is a little bit far away from here, I don’t think we have enough time to go there and get some foods.” Dannielle answered.

            “Guys, don’t worry! I’ve already ask the cook to prepare us dinner for tonight.” Marrie called out from outside.

            “You’re a life saver Marrie! That’s why you are not so worried.” Jay told to Marrie in relief as he walked towards her.

            Marrie is our first honor since first year to fourth year. She is smart and talented girl I know in school. She’s the one who plan this reunion up to the booking and stuff.

            “Great! So we have nothing to worry about! How about let’s swim, I’m sure the pool is pretty tired of waiting us.” John teased. He is such a jolly guy ever. He’d never changed.

            I was just leaning on the wall laughing at their craziness.

           

 

           
To be continued.......

The reality of Life

If you care or love someone, you’ll be supportive in whatever decisions they want in their lives especially if it is for the better. Yes! Being together with the whole family is completely fun and tremendous, that’s what we all want to feel. But as much as we want it, we have to accept the fact that each of us has its own life. We have our own decisions and dreams.

I guess everyone hates this part, but this is the reality.  We have no choice but face it by accepting the fact. We can’t walk away from the reality because wherever we go, it will always find its way.

Acceptance is the key to this situation. Learn to let go things, let your love ones fly on their own. Let them learn and build their own lives.

After all, Love is all about sacrificing. If you love someone you are willing to sacrifice for them. You are willing to set them free, even if it’s against your feelings.

A real dream

It was a pretty hot night, I don't have an air-condition in my room so I let my room door open to allow some wind pass through the door to the window or vise versa.  It was the only night that I've decided to hang my door open, usually no matter how hot the night is I prefer to close my door for privacy, but not that night.  

I fell asleep as soon as I hit the hay.

In my dream.. I was asleep. My two hands were on my stomach. Suddenly, I felt someone’s presence at the door of my room. I didn’t see who exactly was that, all I know was she seemed walking towards my bed. It might be mum checking on me, I thought. But why is she checking on me in the middle of the night? Am I sick? A few seconds later, I felt her hand holding my left hand. I let her do it but curiously I squeezed her hand slowly enough that she won’t know I’m awake. I was shocked, the hand that holding me was not my mum’s hand. I am perfectly sure, it wasn’t her’s. The hand was not a hand of an old lady. My mum’s turning 70 in August. I am expecting a wrinkled hand, but it wasn’t. It was a hand of a young person, like my age. I have no idea if she is a HE or SHE. I was very confused till I realized I am dreaming. In my horror, I started to panic. I tried to move both my feet and hands to make myself awake. I tried to do it over and over again, but my body seemed so heavy that I can’t move it even a bit. It took me many tries before I finally awake. What surprised me most is that, I was positioning the same position in my dream. It feels really true, there was someone who visited me that night I just can’t pinpoint who it was. My heartbeat racing so fast, I didn’t move. I was scared but I was curious to know who it was really. It was a nightmare!!

After a minute I checked my clock it says May 29, 2012 4:55am. I’ve decided to get up, I went to check the kitchen, bathroom, living room and lastly I checked my mum if she is okay. Everything is in place and mum is sleeping. I went back to my room and find my rosary. I put it around my arm, like a bracelet and lied down on my bed again but changed my position to make sure I won’t dream again.
Finally, I was asleep again.

Unfortunately, in spite of changing my position I dreamt again.

I saw my high school classmate named "MG" In my dream we were walking side by side while talking about her ex boyfriend named "FC". As we talked I saw a boy walking ahead of us and he seemed heading to the same place where we going. He turned his head to us and there I know it was FC. I said Hi to him while waving my hand but he just smiled and continued his walk. As I remember he is not walking properly, there's something wrong with his right foot and his right hand. I feel pity on him. I walked faster to reach him, as soon as he saw me he said "you are so big now Mick" he was smiling while he said that but all I respond was a SMILE. I know in myself that I've had a lot of question to him like "how are you" but it didn't came out from my mouth.


We continued our walk, there's no one in there but two of us. We're in the woods, I walked first while he was following me. What happened was, I bumped in a tree. The road where I'm going to is a like a dead end. There's a tree right in the middle of the road and there's a lot of roots that I couldn't go through. 


I heard FC calling me, I turned my head to find him and there he was walking on the other side. "Come here, here's the right road" so I walked back and followed him. I was happy, we were both happy.


I woke up again. And there I know who it was on my first dream. It was FC, he is the one who entered in my room and hold my hand. I felt terrified, mix emotion actually. Scared, happy, sad, etc. I'm scared because I am dreaming someone who is dead, I'm happy because so many times I want to dream about this guy and I did, sad because I missed him so much and knowing I won't see him ever again. Out of hundreds of thousands of dreams that I have had, this one seems so real, so true. 


I felt loved by him because he comes to my dream, he visits me and hold my hands, proof that yes he cares for me. I cried, I want to shout so freaking bad "I want you back" but I was controlling myself. I then started to think all the memories we had, all the good things he did for me, his happy face. How I wish I could bring back the past and pause there just to have him and be with him. I want him to know how special he is, but all this is not gonna happen and it won't ever no matter what I do.

What makes this dream special is because FC once admit to MG about his feeling for me. He said that to her before they became together, but they broke up after almost a year of their relationship. FC died last July 28,2011 5am at age of 26, he is one of those Marine who got killed by the Abussayaf in Mindanao. 


I was hoping to meet him in August, the month after he died, coz he is supposed to go back home but he didn't reached August. All I met was his dead body. 


It was terrifying! 


That's why I'm happy and thankful for this dream. Somehow, he made me feel loved by him, perhaps because he is just right there, watching over me and yes he does, he does feel my love for him. 


I will forever treasure you and I will forever remember those memories we've had together. I miss you so much and I love you Forever! 

Dear God,

Here we go again facing the same exact thing as before. It's very disappointing that after all we've been through we still in the same situation again. I thought everyone has already learned from the past mistakes. I've never expect my other sister would do exactly the same mistake. Such a big failure *shakes head* but things stroke already and it left us no choices but to accept her decision. It may be hard for us but I know every thing will be in place in the right time. For now, let us put our trust to God coz as long as He is there, there's nothing to worry about.

I blame my sister for doing such a thing, especially the yelling over our older sister and blaming her over and over again in spite of all her sacrifices and help. I know how bad it is for her, and I feel so helpless that I can't help her in return of all her goodness. She is that good and helpful and very family minded, I can't even count how many persons she's been helping. She doesn't deserve this, and blaming her is such a terrible thing ever.

I adore my sister Emily so much. And I ask you Lord, begging you to please give her strength and wisdom. Just be with her Lord, she needed you so much. We can't be with her all this time, and you are the last Man I could ask for help. Lord you know that, you see what kind of person she is, so please don't ever leave her. Please let her feel that she is loved.

Please Lord protect my sister, no matter what will happen hope we're still together. Still family. Please forgive us Lord to all our sins. I know you have reasons, I hope we'll see it soon. Just don't abandon us Lord, please.

Song lyrics that captured my heart

First time that I saw you, looking back you did. We were young, we were restless....

‘cause love only comes once in a while, it knocks on your door and throws you a smile. It takes every breath, leaves every scar, speaks through your soul, and sings through your heart. If I knew then would I know now? I’d fall in love....

~IF I KNEW THEN by Lady Antebellum~


If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea, I’ll sail the world to find you. If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can’t see, I’ll be the light to guide you....
You’ll always have my shoulder when you cry...
I’ll never let go, never say goodbye...
~COUNT ON ME by Bruno Mars~


...I’d rather had bad times with you than good times with someone else. I’d rather be beside you in a storm than safe and warm by myself. I’d rather have hard times together than too have it easy apart. I’d rather have the one who holds my heart....
~I’D RATHER by Luther Vandross~

...I know you’re somewhere out there somewhere far away. I want you back, I want you back. My neighbours think I’m crazy but they don’t understand. You’re all I have, you’re all I have.

A night with the stars light up my room, I sit by myself. Talking to the moon, I try to get to you. And hope you’re on the other side talking to me too forevermore since alone talk into the moon....
~TALKING TO THE MOON by Bruno Mars~


.....Even though we’re far apart you’re right beside me in my heart.
.....Even though you’re far away I’m right beside you day by day...
~MY LOVE IS HERE by Erik Santos~


....and I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me it happens all the time. It’s a quarter after one I’m all alone and I need you now...
~NEED YOU NOW by Lady Antebellum~



Boy it’s been all this time, and I can’t get you off my mind. Nobody knows it but me....
...Everyday I wipe my tears away so many nights I pray for you to stay. I should’ve been chasing you. I should have been tried to prove that you were only matter to me.
...’cause what we had is all we’d ever need....
~ALL WE’D EVER NEED by Lady Antebellum~


Bucket full tears. Babe you know I’m here. I’m here waiting. Close your precious eyes and just realize I’m still fighting....
...Wake up feel the air that I am breathing. I can’t explain this feeling that I’m feeling. I won’t go another day without you...
~WITHOUT YOU by Aj Rafael~

YOU FOREVER

You were shot.
They ripped your head off.

You’re lying down in a coffin.
Your precious eyes were closed.
You’re no longer moving.
You were dead.

I was very hurt.
I was so weak.
I fainted and fell down.

I cried.

You’re gone.
I can’t see you.
I can’t hear you.
You never exist anymore.

I want you back.
I want you alive and breathing.
I want to see your flesh.
I want to feel your soul.

I want to touch you.
I want to hug you.
I want to feel your heartbeat.

I want you to know.
I want you to hear.
I want you to feel.

You are very special.
You are too important.
You are all I want.

You are my only love.
You are my everything.
You are my life.

I miss you.
I love you.
I love you forever.

Page 5 of 366 :)

Now I got a total of 109 post since I started this blog. What an achievement for having an enthusiasm to continue what I've started. All these are nothing, but for English purposes. I can't judge whether I improve or not. All I know is that, everyday I'm using most of the words I know. I think it's enough to use it all the time, it's part of maintaining what I've learnt.

Today is January 5,2012. Page 5 of 366, I've already missed the first four page but no..I'm not really thinking of doing the writings everyday that's very hard to maintain. I will just be here whenever I got free time or if I'm not lazy of course :)

I can't say I had a great year last year coz there were so many bad things that had happens in my life. Family problems, own problem, plus the death of you-know-who to mention the few. But aside from all these circumstances I know I had enough to be thankful for. And that's the life I have right now, and the whole family is okay and in good health. Family relationship problem is not good but I'd rather have it than losing anyone I truly loved. I could handle the first one but not the death. I so pray to God that HE would give us many chances to be together, Physically and mentally. THat's what really matters to me now, that everyone is alive and healthy. Other than that, I have no more to ask for. What I have is enough, God knows when to give and what to give. I will just leave it all up to HIM, as HE knows better than me.

Well, my wish for 2012 is again the health and safety of my family. I hope this whole year will be great for all of us. Problem is just there, we can't avoid it but I hope we have the strength to handle them and the ability to keep moving no matter what will happen. May the love wins over anything else, and the acceptance will remain in our hearts.

If we trust God...Everything is gonna be fine. May HE guide us all throughout the year.

Azkals

Since I have nothing to do right now, why don’t I write about football? Well, as I watch different games a week I discovered different things too. One of it is that, football player can be an actor too. What made me say that? Most of the time players were acting as if they were hurt by their opponent. When I saw them acting like that, it cracks me up LOL. Those players were so funny. They have to act very well so the referee would give a foul to their opponent. It gives them break then. Some of it is effective but some isn’t.
I also noticed this kind of thing in basketball. It also works in Rugby, I think. It does just make me laugh when player act like he is really hurt when the fact is, no one did touched him. That time when the replies started to flick on your screen many times in slow motion. You would really see if someone fouled you or not. It’s embarrassing on their part sometimes but they can’t help it when it’s already done.
On the other side, what the heck is wrong with my feet? They are hurt a little bit. It makes me uncomfortable. Oh it’s 9pm already? Clock runs so fast. Think I gotta go take my dinner now and have shower so I could sleep early. There’s no good show tonight so I guess I’ll go to bed as soon as I’m done helping myself. That’s all for now peeps. You take your dinner as well 

Football

The connection is not working very well. I think this has something to do with the typhoon. Wires are affected, so is the connection. Hope everything will be fixed soon. This is annoying, can’t able to check and update both my facebook and twitter status. All I could see in the news are all about the disaster cause by typhoon. I want to know some other news, other than typhoon. I mean, those are bad news and it makes me sad. I need good news.
I’m into sports this year; I support all the sports under Philippine Team. I just realized I have to start loving my own and should be proud of them. I have to appreciate all the hard work and sacrifices of the team just to prove to other countries that Filipinos have talent and that we exist. Sports could help gain respect from other countries and I think that’s what our prayers are thinking too.
Players are committed to do their part as a player to represent our Nation. As a citizen of this country, I think that’s the least we could do. To cheer and support. Each of us has a part, let’s do our share because our players gained strength from their fans. A loud scream could heal their tiredness and give them hope.
Anyways, I did two blogs already but the connection is still the same. Still slow and that makes me a bit annoy now. The weather was good today; I thought the connection is already fixed.

Typhoon Pedring

Finally Typhoon Perding left Philippines last night. People started to clean up all the mess he left. I feel bad for those people who lost their loved ones and for those who are homeless. I can’t imagine what they feel; I mean there is large number of poor families in Luzon. They work hard to build houses and buy things for their daily needs and now the flood took them away and ruined their houses. What would you feel if you are in their position? That 2days typhoon devastates their whole lives. Another problem is that, there is a new typhoon called Quiel seen near the Philippine area of responsibility. Let’s hope it won’t enter. Pedring is too much, let alone Quiel. Those people need a break, give them a chance to pick their things up and be prepared again. At this moment they can’t handle another typhoon, they don’t have houses and clothes and food and still weak cause by typhoon Pedring.
I saw in news, the wave in the sea were so high. As high as coconut tree and it’s very strong. It could grab people away even cars and bash them somewhere. That’s how horrific the typhoon was. Most of the cities in Luzon are still flooding; you can’t see soil and roads. Also, Electric wires and post are in the wrong position, that’s why most of the areas are blackout.
Victims are running out of water, food, and shelter.
My prayers are with them at these times, please Lord keep them safe and help them to move on. Give them strength so they could able to face the disaster brought by the typhoon.

About the stories I wrote

Unfortunately, I'm not gonna finish all my writings the "First book-writing attempt" and the other one. So don't read it guys, you will just end up disappointed, the story doesn't has an ending. I decided to stop it 'cause I don't have any inspiration anymore. My inspiration for this story was gone already, it is frustrating to realize but I don't want to think sad memories from now on. I'm still on the process of letting go of that person. It's hard for me to do it now.


This is just a note. God Bless us all.

New obsession

To all my fellow Twilight fans, I'm really sorry about this but I think my obsession with this trilogy is already over. Sad to say this but really I'm not that obsessed the way I am before. I mean, before my day wouldn't be perfect without checking my favorite twilight site. Everyday I'm craving for twilight news, especially Robsten news. But now it seems that I can live without any of it for a month. Not that I don't care about the movie anymore, 'cause to be honest I'm dying to see the movie already. The trailer blows me away, it freaks me the first time I saw it on Youtube. So don't hate me for the space I left out, I'm still here, just give me a break to enjoy other stuff other than vampires and werewolves.

Philippine Azkals. Our Philippine National Football. This!! this is the one that stopped my obsession on Twilight series. Not that I blame them, I'm not gonna do that, not ever! It's just that, Philippines Azkals is my own Country and I should have to be proud of them. Helping them, support them and help them reknown to the whole world. I mean hey World, Philippine Football is exist!!!

Football is not our sports, basketball is. It's not that we are one of the powerhouse of basketball in Asia, so we don't have to be good in other sports. No! not like that. It's always better to have a participant in every sports. I want to help my country to gain a respect from other country through sports. Not that I want to be in that sports, literally, 'cause I'm no good in sports. I'm not active.

Philippine Football was just started to make a name in Asia. They need our full supports 'cause they can't do it alone. As a citizen of the Country, who don't want their country to be successful in terms of sports? One one does for sure.

I want to do my share for my Country. I want to help Azkals and support the team hundred percent.

100 Posts

Before I begin with my next post, Just wanna Congratulate myself first. I just noticed I did 100-post already! It's a success on my part,yehey! Before I started to create this blog, I've never thought it will last this far. I mean, yes, I'm into anything related to internet. I always love exploring sites, especially if it's all about blogging. I love blogging, got inspired by those people who runs a site. I want to have my own site as well and decided to create one till I stopped and stayed in blogger up to the present. That's the story.

I've been in so many sites, I spent my time designing my site and I wrote anything in there and end up unhappy of the result. Those sites are not that cool as what I think about blogpost. I love the templates of blogspot, you can find many of it anywhere and it's easy to use.

100-post!!! W.O.W!!! I wrote so much hehe. Have to be proud of myself now. Hope I could continue updating this site till forever. I want to take down all the things that I want to, I think that someday it would be fun to get back on your post and read it again. For sure, I would laugh out loud reading my writings LOL.

That's all for now. GOD BLESS MY family and loved ones.

English comment time!

Hey everyone, I'm having a trouble. How could someone my age or even younger than me can be able to write in English fluently?! I read so many writings from those people younger than me and I could say, their English is really great. I can't even understand some of their grammar because they are using deep grammars, uncommon one. Every time I read writings like that, I started to ask myself ...am I this dumb? why I can't keep up with them? what did I missed to be left out this far behind them? Well, maybe these people were born smart or maybe it has something to do with their parents blood. I believe that if your parents are smart, there is a great possibility that your child would be smart too.

Why do I keep on asking stuff like this when i already know the answer?! Crazy girl!

Again, I have nothing to do about it but to be strong and just continue to learn to improve mine. Someday, I'll be able to do those things too. I'll be great too like them. I have to stay positive and keep going then everything will follows. I know those people had been through this stage before.

If I look around me, I know there are so many people out there as well that can't able to speak English. Some are older than me but I can speak better than them. I'm not alone and I'm not that dumb!!! :)

First book-writing attempt

Characters name:
Kristen : main character Jayden/warners
Fred : main character (loves kristen but in a relationship with Marrisa)Jayden
Robert : Third party (Loves Kristen) Warners
Michelle : Third party (loves Rob) warners
Jay : Friends/classmate jayden (kristen’s crush)
Kate : Friends/classmate jayden
Marrisa : Friends/ classmate jayden
Miss Julia : Social studies teacher (jayden)
Ariane : Kristen’s close friend jayden
Magie : Kristen’s close friend Jayden
Rubie : Kristen’s close friend Jayden
Elmer : Classmate/link to Ariane jayden
Marc : classmate/ link to magie jayden


Schools name: Jayden high school & Warners high school
Table of contents:
1. About how the girl and the boy lived
2. How they met
3. Courtship
4. In a relationship
5. Relationship consequences
6. Broke up
7. Back together
8. Engagement
9. Work
10. Wedding
11. The new life
12. Pregnant
13. Giving birth
14. Happy family

Status: Unfinished

1. Kristen’s life (KPOV)

I was sitting on the bench beside the river near my house. It was a lonely afternoon and I have no one to talk, but I like this way – being alone. If you ask my friends about me, they will definitely tell you I’m a silent type of girl. I won’t argue on that matter because I know it was true.

I love starring at the fresh streaming water all the time. It was very refreshing and peaceful, especially during hot afternoon. I really love the breath taking cold air from the river.

After school you can’t see me anywhere, just like most kids do. My mother is pretty strict and don’t allow me to play and go to my friends’ houses after class. All I have to do is to answer my homework and help her do the house work. I didn’t argue with my mom most of the time because I’m too afraid of her sermons.

After a half an hour of sitting on the bench, I felt the butterflies in my stomach. I’m starving – so I walked fast to the Kitchen and find something to eat. I made two sandwiches and a juice, one for me and one for my mom. I got back to the bench and started to eat my snack.

“Now I’m full” I said to myself while tapping my stomach.
It was almost end of the school year and I was so excited to graduate from elementary. Next school year I’ll be in high school, and so I have to think and decide where school to go.

I have a no permanent school since grade one. Our family used to transfer from one place to another because we have two houses one is in Melbourne the other is in Queensland. I am now in Queensland with my mother and my other sisters are living in Melbourne. I have been in 4 schools until I came here in Queensland and stay here for two years now.

My sisters want me to transfer in Melbourne for High School but I kind of liked the Queensland already. Aside from I was born in here, most of my relatives are also living here and in two years I’ve already gained many friends in my neighbourhood.

I decided to continue my high school in Jayden high school here in Queensland.

Graduation has past and high school year has just started. New faces, new teachers, new uniforms & stuff and most of all new environment.


2. Fred’s life (FPOV)

I was excited as I ironing my White toga for my graduation next day but what excites me most is that I’m going to high school. It’s going to be a new life and a new environment. I’m going to Jayden High School because it’s the only school that near my house. It takes twenty minutes to get their by bus, not bad at all.
Two months later after graduation, my life has begun.

“I can’t believe this, I’m high School now.” I said very slowly to myself, just enough that no one could hear.
As I look around the campus, I could see different faces and new people.
“This is different. This is something new to me.” I said slowly again, and I was nervous because those students seems smart.
“I can do this.” I said and then sighed. I’m just trying to make myself calm.

Jayden High School is only composed of 268 students from first year to fourth year. It’s a small school, enough for a small town.

I continued walking to the room where my first class is going to be. As I entered, I was shocked when I saw my classmates because most of them were my classmates too back in Elementary while some were my school mates.

Our teacher made us stood one by one in front of the classroom to introduce ourselves. It made me sink into a tiny little pea. This is not my thing; I hate standing in front of so many people. I was nervous and my hands were shaking while doing my turn. But I’m glad I managed to do my part and it seemed that no one noticed me shaking.

After a month I’ve already memorized my classmates’ names. And month after month we’re all comfortable with each other. Most of the guys used to tease the girls. I also love teasing some of my girl classmates but not too much like some guys do.

In my five days a week spending with my classmates, I’ve knew them better and better. I know who cheats a lot, who’s smart, who’s nice and who’s stupid.

We’re in second year already and it feels so great that all of my classmates in first year are still my classmates this year. We’re already closed to each other and know each other very well, so there’s no more intense inside the classroom.

In my two years in High School there were numerous of events that happened. Cheer dance, intramurals and sports fest to mention a few. I’m a terrible dancer and not sporty, so I just let my part to other people who enjoy stuff like that.

I enjoyed my high school life, had some crushes and secret love. Of so many pretty girls in the campus, this girl caught my attention. Her name is Kristen, Kristen Scott. She’s very nice and polite and smart. She’s different compare to other girls in the campus. She’s a quiet type of girl, and I do really think we had a lot in common.

I want to impress her, but that time I was young about love. I mean I didn’t have any girlfriend before. I was so shy and I don’t know how to make a move to get her attention.

“Okay, not now. I’ll do it later.” I always said to myself when I felt coward to tell what I felt for her.

Most of the time when I think about this girl, I always thought what if she’s not going to like me? Is she going to talk to me, still? It’s hard to decide. Afraid of making her upset I decided to keep it for myself first.

“Good morning Class, we’re not going to discuss today but I want you to copy this.” Miss Julia said when she reached her front table, pointing the book she is holding.
“It’s a long topic so I guess it will consume our whole time. Marrisa please come here and copy this on the blackboard. Class, get your notebooks and copy this silently.” Miss Julia said and then gets out of the room to the office.
“Yes! I love this part. I mean I hate copying the whole blackboard but this is better than discussing. Hahaha” My classmate Jay said to his seatmate behind me.
The xerox machine in our school is broken, so we’re like this always – copying for an hour and discuss it the next day.
“Look, my right hand is shaking.” I heard Kristen saying to Ariane in two rows from me.
“Mine too, it hurts.” Ariane replied showing her right hand and then shake it while saying the second part.
I was thinking what to do. If I ask her to let me write for her, will my classmates tease us? So many thoughts in my mind, but then I stood up and sit on the blank seat next to her.
“Hi Kristen, would you like me to write in your notebook for you?” I said shyly with a bit smile.
Thank God no one even bother to tease me. Some of my classmates are talking while writing so it’s a bit noisy inside our classroom.
“Are you sure? How about yours? I mean how could you copy your notes?” She smiled pleased, but worrying about my notes.
“Yeah, my hand is not hurting yet. I will just borrow your notebook and make a copy of mine at home. I’ll bring it back to you tomorrow, if that’s okay.” I said willingly.
“That’s okay, thanks. Here.” She nodded and put her notebook on the table of my desk.

I went home straight after our last subject. As soon as I got home I just grabbed some bread and a can of coke from the Kitchen and went upstairs to my room. I then started to copy our lessons from Kristen’s notebook to mine. I finished it early, and so I have a little time to watch volleyball on TV. I sat there for an hour till mom called me for dinner. I run downstairs and help mom prepare the table. After the dinner I just cleaned up the table and let my younger sister do the dishes.

Inside my room I grabbed my towel and took a bath. It was a very hot night, so my shower took thirty minutes. I jumped on my bed and lie there for a moment. As I looked up the ceiling I think about Kristen. That was the first time I’ve ever get closer to her. What I did is a small thing, but it means a lot to me. The flashback of us kept coming into my mind till everything went black. I fell asleep.






3. Kristen POV

I can’t forget my freshmen year; I met a lot of new people and gained close friends. I used to spend my break time with my friend Magie. During break time we went to the bench around the big tree inside the school campus; just talking about each other’s life, crushes, love, sometimes we teased each to the guy in school. My other classmates are nice too but I’m not close to them because they also have their own group.

Magie, Ariane and Rubie are my closes friend. I trust nobody except these three girls, I tell them everything about me and so they are.
We’re in second year already and it happens that we’re all still classmates. It’s great.

Most of the girls in school are wild. Not totally wild like you think, I mean they love being near to boys and I’m not that kind of girl.

It was noon and we were waiting for our first class in the afternoon. We’re in the bench chatting.
“Aine, how’s you and Elmer?” Magie asked to start the conversation with a bit smile on her face. We all look to Ariane curious to know her answer.
“Nothing, we’re just friends you know.” She replied shocked and shy when she saw all the eyes on her, and then she smiled.
“what!” she added raising her eyebrows.
“hmmm you’re lying, we know there’s something between you two.” Magie continued teasing her.
“Agree. Maybe you guys are together now, what do you think Ten” Rubie added agreeing to Magie and she nodded to me when our eyes met.
“We’re not, seriously. Don’t worry I’ll tell you when there’s an improvement, for now we’re still in stage of courtship.” She explained quickly not giving me a chance speaks.
“I think Elmer is a good guy. He is short but he’s smart.” I said humorsely.
No one dare to continue the topic, it means they were satisfied by her explanation.
“You guys already know I have a crush on Marc. But let’s keep this to ourselves okay? I don’t want him to know my feelings for him.” Magie assured us.
“I don’t have any crushes, I promise.” Rubie said quickly before anyone could ask her.
“How about you Kristen. Who’s that lucky guy you have a crush on?” Ariane asked me smiling.
“Here you go, I tell you who my crush is but first of all don’t let anyone know about this.” I said shyly.
“Sure thing!” They said at the same time.
“I have a crush on Jay. I think he looks good, but I’m not sure about my feelings. I mean, I’m not really wanting him to be my boyfriend.” I said not able to explain my feelings, and that’s all I could say.
“What? That’s weird. If ever he’s going to court you, you will let him down?” Rubie asked me confused.
“You’re right Rubie. I don’t want to have a boyfriend, not now and not him. I just LIKE him not LOVE him, okay?” I answered.
“It’s two minutes before one, let’s go to class?” I continued not waiting for their answers.

They checked their clock and grabbed their bags and we hurried to our classroom.
Miss Julia is not yet in our classroom. I sat to my chair looking around, my classmates were busy chatting to each other. When I looked at my back unintentionally; I caught Fred’s eyes. He was looking at me friendly, so I smiled at him and turned my head back to the door to check whether Miss Julia is there.
Not once or twice but many times I caught Fred eyes’ on me, but it doesn’t affect me at all. He and my other classmates teased me all the time.

“Ten, Elmer wants to walk you home after class.” Fred said smiling.
“Don’t believe in him ten, he’s the one who wants to walk you home. He’s just shy to ask you.” Elmer disagreed, teasing him back.

I just smiled at them while they’re teasing each other. They do this all the time, but I didn’t mind them at all.

Five minutes after the bell was rang Miss Julia appeared on the door. She pointed Marrisa to write on the blackboard, since she has a good handwriting.
It was a decade ago and our school has only one xerox machine. Too bad it was broken since a month ago. From then, we have no choice but to write every topic in our notebook.

I wrote too much and feel the pain on my fingers. Not just me ‘cause everyone were reacting too.

Thank to Fred for taking my notebook and write them for myself. He’s so nice and a life saver.

When I finished my third year in high school, my sisters want me to transfer to Warners High School in Melbourne.

Note: This is *Unfinished* I'm not sure if I can able to finish the story, my enthusiasm about the story is very low these few months:(

R.I.P. FC

I was totally shocked when I heard the news about you being killed. It was one of the saddest day I've ever had. I think it is the will of God that your mortal body be laid aside. You are a hero, you died to save this country.

Thank you so much for the memories and double thanks for the compliments from-you-to-me. It means a lot and I will forever cheerish our friendship. You will always be remembered my friend. May your soul rest in peace.

1985-July 28,2011

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