January..February...March..OMG! it's already March!!! Time went so fast that I didn't noticed I missed two months without writing. It means I have to keep up and fill those missing days that I had missed. Anyway, here I am.. starting my task before it's getting too late to do it. For now I could say, I'm not that late coz I have so many things in my mind to write.
Now I learned that writing isn't just writing anything you want. In my case, I used to think that writing is just my way of learning and of improving my English. But now it seems like there is more about writing.
Writing can help you change things suround you. For instance, through writing I could feel peaceful. I mean, if you have something inside you that you want to spit out before it intoxicate your soul. Something that it need to be said but there is nobody to be told or nobody could understand no matter how you explain it. In short, Writing is the key to let you out those negative things inside you and make you empty, peaceful and better.
Have you ever felt that sometimes in our lives there are things that no one could understand except yourself??? and you want to share it but explanation or words is not enough for others to undestand the whole thing??? I'm sure you felt that coz I did.
In our lives there are so many small things that bother us. It's just small things but if those small things combine it will become big, right? those small things is not really important to be told to anyone closed to you or even to your family. What I'm saying here is, everyone of us is unique... nobody knew us better than ourselves.
It's up for us on how to handle each circumstances that happens into ourlives. In my case, Writing is my way...I think my best way to let negative things go and positive things to share. I think it is healthy to do it, coz after letting it go you will feel better. That's why I started using this therapy for how many months now and I could say it helps a lot. If you hate someone to death, like you want to kill her for saying something against you - you don't really have to attack her/him back. That's probably will make things even worse. Why don't you attack her/him through writing?? but hey! make sure nobody could read it, or at least no one could read it that knows you both. Spitting it out makes you feel better and I do think it's a good way than confronting her/him straight to their faces.
I'm telling you this because I once in this situation before. I mean confronting someone personally and it only ends up worser, that's why I'm giving you a hint. Don't want you guys to experince what I have experinced before. The most important now is I learned from them and I know now how to handle things like that.
what a long blog after 2 months:) I should have leave some of it for the next one. Have a good night!
Showing posts with label All about life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label All about life. Show all posts
3/7/11
12/18/10
I am so dependent - I hate it
It's been a while since I last visited my blog. I was kinda busy since it's December, lots of stuff to do and family visits. I spend most of my time visiting my families from other places, I'm the only one who can drive so I have no choice to be left at home. My family really needs my service so why not??
I know my life is just easy for anybody else, but for me it's kind of tough. I can't find a job because I need to stay at home all the time.I mean people can't live without me, in case of emergency no one could be there to drive for them. To take money from the bank or any other responsibilities that needs my present.
I used to complain about this, but I know I have no reason to do so. My family needs my help, how could I reject it?! I'm so glad my sisters understand my situation. But until when I could keep myself believe that everything is okay? I mean, I need myself to be improved too. I'm too old to be dependent with my sisters help.
Being free is good, but I feel so limited to reach my goals. I really needed to get out of this situation and start reaching my goal all by myself. Fight against the fears and learn how to accept things.
I know my life is just easy for anybody else, but for me it's kind of tough. I can't find a job because I need to stay at home all the time.I mean people can't live without me, in case of emergency no one could be there to drive for them. To take money from the bank or any other responsibilities that needs my present.
I used to complain about this, but I know I have no reason to do so. My family needs my help, how could I reject it?! I'm so glad my sisters understand my situation. But until when I could keep myself believe that everything is okay? I mean, I need myself to be improved too. I'm too old to be dependent with my sisters help.
Being free is good, but I feel so limited to reach my goals. I really needed to get out of this situation and start reaching my goal all by myself. Fight against the fears and learn how to accept things.
11/17/10
2010 is not a good year for me
This year is been so tough for me. Everything that's happening is extremely bad. How I wish that next year would be extremely great for me. Please Lord, be with me all the time. Keep me a better person, give me wisdom, make me strong, give me strength, inspire me and give me courage to face all the challenge that comes into my life.
Lord please show me the light, enlighten my mind and make me a good person and responsible not just for myself but also for everyone around me. Help me reach my dream and keep me positive. Please Lord help me face my life confindently and with love.
I really need you at this point of my life, please Lord don't leave me. You are the only one who left to survive me, the one who will inspire me and make me go back to the person I used to be before. I want to be strong and responsible and full of dreams.
Lord please show me the light, enlighten my mind and make me a good person and responsible not just for myself but also for everyone around me. Help me reach my dream and keep me positive. Please Lord help me face my life confindently and with love.
I really need you at this point of my life, please Lord don't leave me. You are the only one who left to survive me, the one who will inspire me and make me go back to the person I used to be before. I want to be strong and responsible and full of dreams.
my 25 years in this world
It's been 25 years ago since I was born in this world. In my 25 years, I've learned so many things. I also learned how unfair life is, how tough living in this world. Life is very confusing, challenges comes one after another or sometimes it comes together. Life sucks and make you cry, sometimes you are weak and so down that you don't have any idea what to do. You start with the question: why is this happening to me? what am I gonna do? where am I gonna start? and how could I face this? to mention a few.
Life is exciting and fun as others say and I honestly believe this. It is easy to say it though, but the easier it is to say the harder it is to do. Life will be exciting and fun if you know how to handle your life. I didn't believe that all the people live that way though, for each of us feels the same way. Each of us has each own challenge in life and has each own word to call it.
Many times I fell on the ground as I walked to continue my life's journey in this world. So many times I gave up, school, work, family and friends. I even came to the point that I didn't know who I am, what is my purpose and what is my dream. It's been so hard for me to live in this world, I blame God, my family and those people around me. But I know deep inside me that there's no one to blame but myself. I almost gave up when I realized that my life was already ruined, I want to bring back the past to correct my mistakes but unfortunately past is past...I can't bring it back no matter what I do. All that left is to accept the past and face the future.
I don't want to do what I've did before, but I am such a coward to fix my life anymore. Call me anything that you want to call, I won't get mad coz I know it's really true. I am nothing but a damn a loser.
One day I asked God, why did you gave me a chance to live in this world where I don't deserved?
Well anyway, this blog shows how am I to deal with my life. And sad to say, my life is not as exciting and fun as yours. I struggling so much and I really find life so tough.
Life is exciting and fun as others say and I honestly believe this. It is easy to say it though, but the easier it is to say the harder it is to do. Life will be exciting and fun if you know how to handle your life. I didn't believe that all the people live that way though, for each of us feels the same way. Each of us has each own challenge in life and has each own word to call it.
Many times I fell on the ground as I walked to continue my life's journey in this world. So many times I gave up, school, work, family and friends. I even came to the point that I didn't know who I am, what is my purpose and what is my dream. It's been so hard for me to live in this world, I blame God, my family and those people around me. But I know deep inside me that there's no one to blame but myself. I almost gave up when I realized that my life was already ruined, I want to bring back the past to correct my mistakes but unfortunately past is past...I can't bring it back no matter what I do. All that left is to accept the past and face the future.
I don't want to do what I've did before, but I am such a coward to fix my life anymore. Call me anything that you want to call, I won't get mad coz I know it's really true. I am nothing but a damn a loser.
One day I asked God, why did you gave me a chance to live in this world where I don't deserved?
Well anyway, this blog shows how am I to deal with my life. And sad to say, my life is not as exciting and fun as yours. I struggling so much and I really find life so tough.
9/21/10
I want to save my life
I really wanna take it back but I can't. What am I gonna do now???? I want to be positive, I still have time I know that. Better late than never right? I hope next year I can go to Australia. Please pray for me. Help me save my Life.
I really hope everything is gonna be fine soon. I don't have to be felt so lost, I will put my trust to God.
I really hope everything is gonna be fine soon. I don't have to be felt so lost, I will put my trust to God.
I want to go to Australia now
Sorry about my previous post. I'm really sad and feel so miserable about the status of my life. I regret so much for letting this happened. I'm such a coward and I always put the fear on the top of everything. That's the big reason why I didn't succeed. I wanna punch myself so fucking hard, I want to awake myself from this shit dreams. I want to change, I want to do something but I just didn't know how and where to start.
My sister keeps on telling me that maybe next couple of months we will start processing your paper so I can go to Australia. But God until now I'm still here, still can't find a work because of that. I supposed to go to Australia last year, they told me to prepare for the IELTS. Instead of finding a job, I didn't coz I prepared for IELTS but after that they told me I'm not going with my sister. She will go alone without me :( She is older than me so they will take her first.
I've waited for so long, I didn't find a job knowing they will start processing my visa. Now they are telling me, early next year. Hope this one will be sure, I really wanna go there, I want to start living. As time goes by I'm getting old, it's time to start my career and work so hard. I want to fill up those missing years I've been free out of work.
To my sister please, do anything to take me here :( I'll pay you later as long as I'm done with my study and have work. Please, I'm so old now I want to work and reach my dreams. I want to start it right now, I'm already late. PLEASE!
My sister keeps on telling me that maybe next couple of months we will start processing your paper so I can go to Australia. But God until now I'm still here, still can't find a work because of that. I supposed to go to Australia last year, they told me to prepare for the IELTS. Instead of finding a job, I didn't coz I prepared for IELTS but after that they told me I'm not going with my sister. She will go alone without me :( She is older than me so they will take her first.
I've waited for so long, I didn't find a job knowing they will start processing my visa. Now they are telling me, early next year. Hope this one will be sure, I really wanna go there, I want to start living. As time goes by I'm getting old, it's time to start my career and work so hard. I want to fill up those missing years I've been free out of work.
To my sister please, do anything to take me here :( I'll pay you later as long as I'm done with my study and have work. Please, I'm so old now I want to work and reach my dreams. I want to start it right now, I'm already late. PLEASE!
9/17/10
we are born to be this way
Life is wonderful if you know how to handle it. Problems, disappointments and frustrations are part of being a human. We can't avoid them, each and everyone of us has each own challenge in life. All we have to do is to be strong and face all of them positively and with love. If you think your problem is very tough, always remember that there are bunch of people out there who are facing more than what you have.
We are born to be a fighter of what we so called life. There is no reason to give up, as long as we have someone around who loved us and will love us. I know saying all these things are easy but doing it aren't.
Thinking positive things help us to be strong and be inspired. We need these, we need people who will lift us up when we are down or when we feel sad and weak. This is just a word but it can make you incredibly different the way you respond to your problem. Live life by accepting what you are and what you have.
We are born to be a fighter of what we so called life. There is no reason to give up, as long as we have someone around who loved us and will love us. I know saying all these things are easy but doing it aren't.
Thinking positive things help us to be strong and be inspired. We need these, we need people who will lift us up when we are down or when we feel sad and weak. This is just a word but it can make you incredibly different the way you respond to your problem. Live life by accepting what you are and what you have.
9/12/10
I learned from life
Sometimes we realize we're in the middle of nowhere. We don't know who we are, what we like, who we want to be with and where we should go. We want to fix our life but we don't know where to start, we freak out, lose our way, we give up and end up to a miserable life.
Being unknown to yourself is I think natural to us - people. Don't give up, don't think negative, be optimistic instead. If you think you are too late to do things, why don't you start it now "it's better late than never" remember??!
In this world, not all of us are lucky to receive glory in early age, although I confess there are lots of people who are lucky enough to have them early. So what?! instead of wasting your time thinking negative things why don't you start doing stuff that would lead you to your glory?
Let them be happy for what they received, just be happy for them. Have a good heart and work hard then you will notice how the glory comes into your hand.
Being unknown to yourself is I think natural to us - people. Don't give up, don't think negative, be optimistic instead. If you think you are too late to do things, why don't you start it now "it's better late than never" remember??!
In this world, not all of us are lucky to receive glory in early age, although I confess there are lots of people who are lucky enough to have them early. So what?! instead of wasting your time thinking negative things why don't you start doing stuff that would lead you to your glory?
Let them be happy for what they received, just be happy for them. Have a good heart and work hard then you will notice how the glory comes into your hand.
6/13/10
Life after holiday
God damn, I hate being far away from internet. Three weeks without studying english is like a big flop, so here I am now can’t write quickly and automatically because of long absents. I lost lots of words and forgot how to use lots of english slangs and new words I learned before the holiday. So hard to adjust again, my mind is still focusing and remembering those happy days I had with my old-friends last Christmas (I missed it already).
Anyway, I’m just forcing myself to write atleast one blog right now, so my mind will slowly work and back to normal. It’s quite frustrating to realized that I’m going to be clumsy after the holiday break, but anyway, I have to clam down and start studying again. Oh no back to base again:(
What is your new year resolution by the way?
Mine?? Improving my english and make it better as I could. Second, to unleash the power within and becoming strong in every thing that will come into my life this year. And lastly to be good with my family, I will make them happy while we’re still together, who knows tomorrow I won’t be with them:( right? (Hey! I’m not talking about dying huh?! hehe, but we can conseder it) Anyway, Living in other country without my mom is my big problem, it’ll kill me. After all, who will takes care of her? I still have a family left behind for her, but my care is defferent. I don’t want to talk about this for now, it makes me sad:(
How are you doing up there my friends? Are you having a great weekend? Anyway, Wishing you all the very best this year.
Anyway, I’m just forcing myself to write atleast one blog right now, so my mind will slowly work and back to normal. It’s quite frustrating to realized that I’m going to be clumsy after the holiday break, but anyway, I have to clam down and start studying again. Oh no back to base again:(
What is your new year resolution by the way?
Mine?? Improving my english and make it better as I could. Second, to unleash the power within and becoming strong in every thing that will come into my life this year. And lastly to be good with my family, I will make them happy while we’re still together, who knows tomorrow I won’t be with them:( right? (Hey! I’m not talking about dying huh?! hehe, but we can conseder it) Anyway, Living in other country without my mom is my big problem, it’ll kill me. After all, who will takes care of her? I still have a family left behind for her, but my care is defferent. I don’t want to talk about this for now, it makes me sad:(
How are you doing up there my friends? Are you having a great weekend? Anyway, Wishing you all the very best this year.
ah, long absent!!!
Dear diary,
My day wasn’t great, I don’t know why, perhaps I’m just too tired and sleepy. I’m not in mood of studying english now, I hate this I don’t want to waste my time. I have to study english no matter what, tonight I really wish I have patience to study at least two hours. Oh God please bless me and inspire me. I haven’t been here like one week more or less, I had a lot of absents. I hope I will fill all the days I had missed up. Anyway, I really don’t know what’s the reason why I am so tired tonight, I feel something pain in my head and so I can’t concentrate on my writing. I’m not feeling sick though.
My day wasn’t great, I don’t know why, perhaps I’m just too tired and sleepy. I’m not in mood of studying english now, I hate this I don’t want to waste my time. I have to study english no matter what, tonight I really wish I have patience to study at least two hours. Oh God please bless me and inspire me. I haven’t been here like one week more or less, I had a lot of absents. I hope I will fill all the days I had missed up. Anyway, I really don’t know what’s the reason why I am so tired tonight, I feel something pain in my head and so I can’t concentrate on my writing. I’m not feeling sick though.
Narrow minded people
Why do people are sometimes narrow minded, why can’t they just mind their own business before spitting non sense words. I mean if they don’t understand what other people are talking, why do they give a load of crap? isn’t it arrogant? All of us has its own freewill, freewill to give an opinion on something, of course that opinion might be negative or possitive and anyone should respect that. But criticizing someones opinion is different, it’s a disrespect. And people often did that, which is so arritating. People like that, people who doesn’t know how to respect others opinion should get a life.
God I need you...
I know right? I know, this is my life, my destiny. But when will this gonna end? I mean I want to be happy, to have someone who will love me back. I am so desperately waiting for that someone since the day I learn how to love. Am I this bad to wait this long? My life is bloody boring and misery. I don’t know wath to do, I’m so sick of this kind of life.
Please God help me, enlighten my mind and keeps me optimistic. I am so weak and I feel like I’m such a loser. Please inspire me to accept things I can not change and be happy and satisfied for what I only have.
Bless my family Lord.
Please God help me, enlighten my mind and keeps me optimistic. I am so weak and I feel like I’m such a loser. Please inspire me to accept things I can not change and be happy and satisfied for what I only have.
Bless my family Lord.
Liars go to hell
The guy I’m talking about on my last post is bloody liar. hehe. He is nothing but a piece of crap! you son of bitch stop acting like as if you are good ’cause I know you are not! you are damn liar and certified chicks boy! You said you want to meet me, really? well, meet your fucking ass alone! you are not good and I didn’t want to be with you ever! you gotta stop sending me message and find a bitch one, someone’s slut whore face!
lol, sorry for my rant message, but what I’m really trying to say is damn so true. That guy is fucking asshole! You go to hell bastard!
lol, sorry for my rant message, but what I’m really trying to say is damn so true. That guy is fucking asshole! You go to hell bastard!
Someone's flirting! LMFAO!!!
Hello peeps, it’s me again.
I do really wanna write this blog. Last Saturday, I met someone on facebook. We’re both born and grew up in the same village. I didn’t know about him since before, since I’m staying in that place. But I knew about his family, his parents and his brothers and sister, he is the only one I didn’t know. In fact I never thought that his mother have him. I didn’t see him in their house or anywhere, perhaps because he living somewhere in the city with his relatives, I think.
He added me on facebook and then last Saturday I surprise when he sent a provate message saying “do you know me?” and I said “NO” ’cause I truly don’t. After that, his lastname made me says “I think I know you… are your parents name blah and blah?” and he said “yes” till we came across to him-asking-my-number, he seems gentleman for asking me if it is okay. Since we are in the same place and I know his family and his family knows mine as well.
He is currently working in Canada. He went there three years ago.
After we went offline my mobile rang four times, I picked it up expecting him of course =D I was right! he called me and we talk but we can’t hear each other cleary perhaps because of the connection or signal problem. In the following day, at the same time, he called me again but my I missed it. I was pretty outside, I don’t know what I’m doing that time but there’s a missed call appeared on my mobile screen. I was kind of upset for forgetting my mobile, I think he was thinking about I don’t wanna talk to him, I don’t know but I have a feeling of thing like that. since then, he didn’t call me again, darn!
I don’t know what’s gonna happen but I’m not trusting him, I don’t even know him that much to trust him easily in just a word. I don’t want to expect much, ’cause later on I’ll be the one who will suffer.
That’s all, i just can’t think if this blog is a bad news or good news. hehehe, I think good since I’m happy no matter what.
I do really wanna write this blog. Last Saturday, I met someone on facebook. We’re both born and grew up in the same village. I didn’t know about him since before, since I’m staying in that place. But I knew about his family, his parents and his brothers and sister, he is the only one I didn’t know. In fact I never thought that his mother have him. I didn’t see him in their house or anywhere, perhaps because he living somewhere in the city with his relatives, I think.
He added me on facebook and then last Saturday I surprise when he sent a provate message saying “do you know me?” and I said “NO” ’cause I truly don’t. After that, his lastname made me says “I think I know you… are your parents name blah and blah?” and he said “yes” till we came across to him-asking-my-number, he seems gentleman for asking me if it is okay. Since we are in the same place and I know his family and his family knows mine as well.
He is currently working in Canada. He went there three years ago.
After we went offline my mobile rang four times, I picked it up expecting him of course =D I was right! he called me and we talk but we can’t hear each other cleary perhaps because of the connection or signal problem. In the following day, at the same time, he called me again but my I missed it. I was pretty outside, I don’t know what I’m doing that time but there’s a missed call appeared on my mobile screen. I was kind of upset for forgetting my mobile, I think he was thinking about I don’t wanna talk to him, I don’t know but I have a feeling of thing like that. since then, he didn’t call me again, darn!
I don’t know what’s gonna happen but I’m not trusting him, I don’t even know him that much to trust him easily in just a word. I don’t want to expect much, ’cause later on I’ll be the one who will suffer.
That’s all, i just can’t think if this blog is a bad news or good news. hehehe, I think good since I’m happy no matter what.
unfortunate night
What a super bad night I have tonight. I tell you why. I have a crush and he was my classmate in review school. Four of us in the review school became close for the last 2 weeks of our exam because everyday we met and we’re having something like a forum or a brainstorming. For instance, I will ask him or her a question as if I am the examiner and then he/she will answer that question and vise versa. I felt nervous during those time because my english is not good and I can’t explain continuously. But as time goes by, we’re all getting comfortable with each other, we became confident enough and my shyness is bit reduced.
We were five in the review school who took the exam and all of us took the listening, reading and writing at the same time during that day in the morning. After that all of us, (we’re 42 who took IELTS ) has a schedule of when to have a speaking test. My classmates’ name were Kim(girl), Jay-r, Joseph, Ian and then me. Kim’s speaking was scheduled on the next morning, which is Sunday because our exam took place on Saturday. So I am the only girl among 4 of us. Joseph(this is my crush ) waited us even though he was 2 hours done with his speaking, I wonder why, but I’m glad he was there of course, lol. When I reached the room, he told me that he was wondering where are we (JAy-r, Ian and me). I was the last candidate to have a speaking test, and when my name was called he told me “good luck” of course that hit my nerve, LMFAO! Excited as I am, I misconstrue the first question, and so I answered it wrongly. So sure as hell my score would be low. That keeps me awake every night actually, worrying what would be my score is.
After the aspeaking test, I went down stairs because we had the exam in a hotel room and it ends 9pm. I thought I was alone and the last one, when I’m almost in the exit of the hotel, someone’s called my name. I look back over my shoulder and there they are waiting for me:D Jay-r and Joseph. They asked me to come with them for dinner for the last time that we are together ’cause after the exam we probably can’t each other again. So I said okay to them, we drove to Mc donald:D we stayed there for almost 2 hours, three of us and just chit chatting about anything funny about our lives. At 11pm we decided to go home, before we separated they asked my mobile number:D yay! like thank God he has a number of mine so it means that we can see it each other again or at least have a communicaton since our review was over.
When I came home, I didn’t feel neither tired nor sad because of the exam and answer the first speaking question incorrectly. I’m kind of inspired by my crush:D I waited for his text like a bitch, and then finally someone’s text me, but sad to say it’s not him it’s Jay-r checking out if I got home safely. I waited and I waited for his text since then, but I received nothing. So I just thought of forgetting him since I didn’t know a thing about him, I must not to expect that much.
Last two hours ago, I went online at my facebook account. By the way, we’re already friends in facebook, four of us Kim, Jay-r and Joseph. I am talking with my friend on twitter when suddenly I heard a message sound from my facebook, I checked it out and OMG! it was him. hahaha the bitch was very happy again! we started to talk and make fun to each other and here we go the damn message I’ve ever received, lol, he has a girlfriend already! busted!!!! he didn’t know how much he hurt me and how I wish I could fucking kick that beast butt for being with my supposed to be man??! instead I’m just replying him a fun message, as if we’re having a great chat but deep inside the bitch heart is started to bleed:(
So I started to lose my appetite talking to him:( the bitch is busted! *crying* Anyway, the story has end. hahaha. It’s just a crush anyway, no big deal and besides he’s not that cute and his staying here is less than a year then he will go to London, he’s a computer engineer though:D and smart! I admired him. At least he inspired me till the exam:D right? At this very moment, he is online on the facebook perhaps talking to his bloody girlfriend or whoever. I wish they broke up! LMFAO!
So that’s it. What a stupid life, isn’t it?
We were five in the review school who took the exam and all of us took the listening, reading and writing at the same time during that day in the morning. After that all of us, (we’re 42 who took IELTS ) has a schedule of when to have a speaking test. My classmates’ name were Kim(girl), Jay-r, Joseph, Ian and then me. Kim’s speaking was scheduled on the next morning, which is Sunday because our exam took place on Saturday. So I am the only girl among 4 of us. Joseph(this is my crush ) waited us even though he was 2 hours done with his speaking, I wonder why, but I’m glad he was there of course, lol. When I reached the room, he told me that he was wondering where are we (JAy-r, Ian and me). I was the last candidate to have a speaking test, and when my name was called he told me “good luck” of course that hit my nerve, LMFAO! Excited as I am, I misconstrue the first question, and so I answered it wrongly. So sure as hell my score would be low. That keeps me awake every night actually, worrying what would be my score is.
After the aspeaking test, I went down stairs because we had the exam in a hotel room and it ends 9pm. I thought I was alone and the last one, when I’m almost in the exit of the hotel, someone’s called my name. I look back over my shoulder and there they are waiting for me:D Jay-r and Joseph. They asked me to come with them for dinner for the last time that we are together ’cause after the exam we probably can’t each other again. So I said okay to them, we drove to Mc donald:D we stayed there for almost 2 hours, three of us and just chit chatting about anything funny about our lives. At 11pm we decided to go home, before we separated they asked my mobile number:D yay! like thank God he has a number of mine so it means that we can see it each other again or at least have a communicaton since our review was over.
When I came home, I didn’t feel neither tired nor sad because of the exam and answer the first speaking question incorrectly. I’m kind of inspired by my crush:D I waited for his text like a bitch, and then finally someone’s text me, but sad to say it’s not him it’s Jay-r checking out if I got home safely. I waited and I waited for his text since then, but I received nothing. So I just thought of forgetting him since I didn’t know a thing about him, I must not to expect that much.
Last two hours ago, I went online at my facebook account. By the way, we’re already friends in facebook, four of us Kim, Jay-r and Joseph. I am talking with my friend on twitter when suddenly I heard a message sound from my facebook, I checked it out and OMG! it was him. hahaha the bitch was very happy again! we started to talk and make fun to each other and here we go the damn message I’ve ever received, lol, he has a girlfriend already! busted!!!! he didn’t know how much he hurt me and how I wish I could fucking kick that beast butt for being with my supposed to be man??! instead I’m just replying him a fun message, as if we’re having a great chat but deep inside the bitch heart is started to bleed:(
So I started to lose my appetite talking to him:( the bitch is busted! *crying* Anyway, the story has end. hahaha. It’s just a crush anyway, no big deal and besides he’s not that cute and his staying here is less than a year then he will go to London, he’s a computer engineer though:D and smart! I admired him. At least he inspired me till the exam:D right? At this very moment, he is online on the facebook perhaps talking to his bloody girlfriend or whoever. I wish they broke up! LMFAO!
So that’s it. What a stupid life, isn’t it?
Goodbye 2009
Well, just wanna say thank you for everything 2009, thank you for the good and bad things I’ve been through this year, though bad things hurts me so much, I’ll still embrace it with all my heart. I know it has a purpose and that purpose will leads me to a better and brighter tomorrow. I learned so many things in this year. I really wish all the crisis and wars and poverty and those who are suffering in pain will end up this year. I know how imposible are these to happen, but I’m still hoping. Goodbye 2009 and hello 2010_
6/11/10
10 years from now....
I want to see my future ten years from now, since it’s free to dream, I would take this chance to figure out what my future looks like. Hehehe. I am 24 now plus 10 years equals 34, (wow! sounds too old”) I can’t stand it! hehe). Anyway, To start with, I’m going to work at one company in Australia (since Australia is my destination) perhaps that company might be Burswood, I’ll work there as an accountant or perhaps I’ll work at one of the university or college as a teacher, one or the other. I have a big house, not too big actually just three to four rooms, up and down, two garrage and has a wide ground with trees and flowers on it. I love nature so much and I think that Australia is a perfect place for me. If I am married, then perhaps I have one or two kids, boy and girl”) hahah. And we will live there as a happy and peaceful family. Of course, my mom will live to my house, I will take care of her, certainly not because I am the youngest and I am the most responsible to take care of her, but because I love my mom so much and I want to be with her forever, I want to take care of her all by myself. I will do anything and give her anything she want as long as I can. And then everyweekend I will visit my sisters houses, or perhaps sometimes we have to gather together at least every ones or twice a month. It’s gonna be fun.
It's weekend!
Dear diary,
I really wish that everyone has a great and happy weekend. It’s time to chill, to relax, to forget those massive of paper works and pile of school stuffs. Sometimes in our busy life, we forgot to enjoy ’cause we’re busy thinking about those unfinished work and school stuff. what I want to say is that give yourself something as a reward, like hanging out with your friends, watching movies, shopping, outing, hiking and stuff. Life is too short and time is running, we have to make ourselves enjoy and make other people around us enjoy as well. That’s how life supposed to be, so make it the way it is supposed”)
I really wish that everyone has a great and happy weekend. It’s time to chill, to relax, to forget those massive of paper works and pile of school stuffs. Sometimes in our busy life, we forgot to enjoy ’cause we’re busy thinking about those unfinished work and school stuff. what I want to say is that give yourself something as a reward, like hanging out with your friends, watching movies, shopping, outing, hiking and stuff. Life is too short and time is running, we have to make ourselves enjoy and make other people around us enjoy as well. That’s how life supposed to be, so make it the way it is supposed”)
My life goes this way
Dear diary,
I fell so many times as I travel the journey of my life and many times I tried to avoid the reality just to get rid of the pain. But still I couldn’t find the real happiness. I discovered that I wasted so much of my time, that I gain nothing from it, and that my life is not as compelling as I wanted it to be. I felt like I was left alone by the others because of fear that keep on blocking my way. I woke up one day, realizing that I need a change, I need to be strong, to fight the fear and don’t let it stop my dreams. As I go on with my life, I learned to be strong and not to be afraid of getting hurt. I know I’m not alone, that everyone of us has it’s own challenge in our life, whether you are rich or poor the problem is always there, it’s like a magnet of our life that no one is exempted, that no one can avoid ‘casue no one can travel the road of success without crossing the street of failures. Based on my own experienced I can say that, I found the real happiness not because I don’t have a problem but because I overcome those problem. I can feel it, I can feel that after the confusion you will find the peace and the hope. I feel so great ’cause I know I am much stronger now and much better than before. However, this is not the end of my sacrifice yet, ’cause problems is always winking in the corner. But one thing I should keep on my mind, that no matter how gloomy the sky is, I will still continue to shine for those people who loved me.
I fell so many times as I travel the journey of my life and many times I tried to avoid the reality just to get rid of the pain. But still I couldn’t find the real happiness. I discovered that I wasted so much of my time, that I gain nothing from it, and that my life is not as compelling as I wanted it to be. I felt like I was left alone by the others because of fear that keep on blocking my way. I woke up one day, realizing that I need a change, I need to be strong, to fight the fear and don’t let it stop my dreams. As I go on with my life, I learned to be strong and not to be afraid of getting hurt. I know I’m not alone, that everyone of us has it’s own challenge in our life, whether you are rich or poor the problem is always there, it’s like a magnet of our life that no one is exempted, that no one can avoid ‘casue no one can travel the road of success without crossing the street of failures. Based on my own experienced I can say that, I found the real happiness not because I don’t have a problem but because I overcome those problem. I can feel it, I can feel that after the confusion you will find the peace and the hope. I feel so great ’cause I know I am much stronger now and much better than before. However, this is not the end of my sacrifice yet, ’cause problems is always winking in the corner. But one thing I should keep on my mind, that no matter how gloomy the sky is, I will still continue to shine for those people who loved me.
